In Which I Deluge You With Old, Embarrassing Photos of Myself...

...ostensibly to demonstrate how badly I need help with this year's Halloween costume.

This is me dressed as a pirate, using a cheap Old Navy costume.  I think the mustache is what really pulls it all together.

Here I am modeling a devil hood thingie that we carried at the department store I worked at several years ago.  This is the sort of costume that makes me sad because it's not really a costume at all.  It's a stupid red hoods with horns.  That's it.  I may as well have gone around wearing a "This is my costume" t-shirt.

This picture was part of a photo shoot my childhood best friend and I did when I was going through the beginning of my goth phase.  As you can tell by the poorly-applied pancake makeup, chains, and self-drawn "Supergirl" graffiti, I was a very conflicted teenager.  I suppose I am still conflicted, in that I have so many disparate characteristics fighting it out inside of me.  For example, yesterday I was baking birthday cupcakes, feeling perky and wearing my strawberry-covered vintage apron.  Then I happened to glance in my full length mirror and took a good look at myself.  I had on black tights, a black skirt, a black top, the strawberry apron, a pink polka-dotted scarf tied in a bow around my neck, and, to top it all off, my hair in pigtails.  Basically, I looked like the love child of Strawberry Shortcake and a goth Pippi Longstocking.

Writing this just reminds me how little I've changed.

Today I asked my friend B if she had read my last post about possible Halloween costumes.  She hadn't, but she immediately suggested Pippi Longstocking.  Can she call it or what?  I'm still open to suggestions, though.  I'm a terrible decision maker.

Signage Fail (or is it a Win?)

As seen at the Huffington Post.

Halloween Costume Ideas

I'm always so delinquent at getting together Halloween costumes.  I always have tons of ideas but some combination of not enough money, not enough time, or not enough energy.  My hope is that having two out of three will be good enough this year!  So I've been keeping a mental list of costume ideas for several months.  This is a dangerous thing to do because my memory is quite poor.  Here's hoping that I'm not forgetting anything:

Mary Poppins - A good choice, obviously.  The hair would be easy-peasy, but the costume would take more than a few spoonfuls of sugar to do well!  The huge plus of this costume idea is that I can pull off a pretty good Julie Andrews musical number AND I'd get to use a fake British accent.

Naughty Secretary - Perhaps overplayed, and might go over the heads of some, given that a true naughty secretary isn't very suggestively dressed.  I pretty much have the individual pieces of this costume already; I only need to buy a couple of hair clips.

Skunk - As in the skunk girls from the movie Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains.  The costume part would be easy.  I probably already have the different pieces.  The hair would be a serious commitment...and might be a good excuse to go black again, with a big white "skunk" stripe.  But I refuse to give myself a mullet!  A faux-hawk pompadour should do the trick.  Again, this costume is likely to go over the heads of pretty much everyone I encounter on Halloween.  Is it worth the trouble then?  The skunk link takes you to an awesome feminist critique of the film, and further down the page there are other exciting blog entries, most notably of Lora Logic and X-Ray Spex!

Pippi Longstocking  - If I can convince gravity to let me braid my hair in two plaits and have them stick straight out on either side of my head, I'm good.  I already have stripey knee socks and boots.  The simple shift could probably be pieced together from a couple different thrift store sheets or t-shirts.  All I know is that it'd be fun to let my inner Little Princess out!

Julia Child - Yay for another British accent opportunity!  This is another costume wherein I already have what I need, minus a rubber chicken, perhaps.  I would definitely need to walk around carrying a chicken or a rolling pin.  The only problem here is the hair.  I have a big head and lots of hair, so I'm afraid that even a decent wig would look ridiculous on me.  Plus wigs are super expensive.

Now here's the real problem with most of these: Whatever I dress up as, I have to be a FAT version of the person.  It's frustrating having almost no recognizable plus-sized celebrities or film characters who are shaped like me.  I don't like feeling as though I'm an inauthentic version of the real thing just because of my size.  I love Halloween, but I hate being reminded of the lack of visibility for fat folks every year!  I mean really...how many times can a fat gal go out trick-or-treating as Tracy Turnblad?

I am so open to suggestions here.  I'm a terrible decision-maker, especially when I have some really good--albeit skinny--options!

Maybe I should just take a lesson from the sweetest, most adorable dog in the whole wide world, Lovey, and dress up as a cute crustacean:

They've gotta have that in my size, right?

Gift-Giving Ideas

So I've been thinking about ways to continue the tradition of gift-giving while working to reduce waste and pointless spending.  I think this boils down to two things--giving people things that are useful and making sure those things are relatively light on resources and supporting small businesses.  This is just an extension of the way I'd like to live in general, being aware of the implications my actions have on those around me (and especially those who aren't).  For the record, I think buying and owning things for beauty's sake is worthwhile.  I consider aesthetics and art a necessity in my life; it keeps me going and makes every day a little more exciting!  I just don't want to go overboard with STUFF. 

The first things that comes to mind, of course, is making gifts for people.  But I've been there, done that.  I bet you've been there, done that, too.  So, with all these things in mind, I decided it would be awesome to try buying gifts for people exclusively from Etsy, at least for one holiday season.  Etsy.com is a combination of handmade, artisan goods and vintage items.  The breadth of goods offered is huge, which means, I bet, that everyone on your list can get something truly unique and personal.  The price is right on most things, too.  Etsy may be a good alternative this year, especially if your friends and family are starting to look pained upon receiving their sixth year of home-canned apple butter or matching crocheted trivets.  Just sayin'.

Without further ado, here are 10 amazing items I found on Etsy.  All of the sellers listed below had other awesome stuff, too.  I could wade through their listings for hours!

Vintage glass owl paperweight
Glass acorn necklace
Frida Kahlo chihuahua tea time print
A pretty vintage spoon necklace for the Spoonie in your life
Poppy oilcloth pocket mirror
Cabochons, for making your own jewelry or crafts
Reclaimed agate and rhinestone necklace
French cinnamon almond nougat bar
Vintage magnetic spice rack
Crocheted Hot Beverage Sleeves

Where else would you look to for more eco- and wallet-friendly gifts?

P.S. - Have I mentioned I'm not actually doing the all-Etsy thing this year?  It's not for lack of interest, it's just that I started buying gifts for people months ago, and I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal. 

P.P.S. - Only yours truly would be listening to Christmas carols on this 106th day before Christmas!

I suppose an explanation is in order.

If you are the sort of person who has been checking in here in the hopes of a new post, I must seem very disappointing.  (Does anyone really check in here?  If so, please let me know, and I'll give you a hug.)  It's been months since my last post, and my best excuse is this: The USB cable I had been using to connect my digital camera to my computer had to be given back to its rightful owner.  It took me until a couple of weeks ago to realize that I had a cable of my own hiding in my desk drawer.  Where was it all those months ago is what I'd like to know!  In any case, I'm back, and just in time, too.  According to the Christmas Countdown Clock to your right, there are ONLY 107 days left until Christmas!!! 

And, of course, there's a lot of fun to be had in between.  Here in western Massachusetts, the nighttime air has been getting crisp.  Due to unusually warm temperatures during the spring and summer, all the crops are coming in early.  That means apple picking is just about here.  I think apple picking is my official start of fall.  So what if Macs are already on the trees a week or two before summer is officially over?  I'm ready for piles of apples and pie-making, damn it.

How Many Days?

Life is a bit too crazy right now for a real post (that's the downer of a blog about holidays), so I thought I'd post an article about the history of Christmas in the state of Massachusetts, which is where I live.

Also, Happy Solstice!  From my living room window I can see the sun setting.  I am infinitely blessed to be in the warmth of my house, sleeping dog at my hip, and free to observe the frigid winter landscape outside.  Although that "frigid winter landscape" is something of a joke after failing to receive any of the 8" of snow the meteorologists predicted this weekend!

And...Charo!  I used to watch the Pee-Wee Christmas special every year.

Aaaaand...John Denver and the Muppets singing the 12 Days of Christmas.  As the YouTube poster commented, this is just about the only version of the carol that doesn't bore you to tears.  I used to have this album on vinyl, too.  In the album version, Beaker gets to "sing" one of the 12 days, and his "meep meeping" was always my favorite part!

Snowflakes!

My friend Danna found this amazing link of snowflake flickr photos. 

It almost makes me feel bad that they melt away on contact with my skin!  I guess the consolation is that they keep coming, and coming.