A Little Bit of Creepy for Your Day...

Another Plus-Size Costume Idea

I had forgotten about the potential for a Cass Elliot Halloween costume.  I considered it last year, and even went so far as to buy a set of vintage, yellow and green daisy-patterned sheets at the thrift store.  My idea had been to sew a basic, Cass Elliot-esque outfit out of them, but I never figured out how.  My sewing skills are very minimal, and I do it all by hand, so it's not exactly an easy-peasy proposition.  And, of course, having a tailor make the whole damn thing, even after spending only a few dollars on material, would be way expensive.  Short of wearing a daisy-pattered toga, I'm not sure how to make this work!

I can't give up the idea, though.  Looking at Elliot photos made me more and more excited because she really was BOTH a superstar and a big ol' fatty.

No, I'm not a big fan of her muumuu style.

Or her clown suits.

But she did wear some pretty rad mod outfits.

Hmmm...

Caramel Corn for Book Group

I participate in a queer book group.  I'm not sure we can really call ourselves a book group anymore since yesterday's gathering entailed watching the film Kissing Jessica Stein and eating nachos.  I thought it would be fun to make caramel corn as my contribution to the potluck since we'd be watching a movie instead of discussing a book.  I even bought little paper popcorn bags to put package it up in.

The recipe I used--a Martha Stewart one--came out wonderfully.  So wonderfully, in fact, that after I made and taste-tested the first batch, I seriously considered getting out more of the ingredients and making a second batch just for myself!  (For the record, I talked myself out of it.  I have been known to have willpower on occasion.) 

Here's the recipe I used.  Below it I've listed my adaptations.

Caramel Corn

12 c popped popcorn (from ½ c kernels)

1 ½ c Beer Nuts or shelled salted peanuts

1 stick plus 2 T unsalted butter

1 ¼ c packed light-brown sugar

1/3 c light corn syrup

salt

¼ t baking soda

1.      Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Place popcorn and nuts in a large bowl.  Melt butter in a large heavy saucepan over medium heat.  Stir in sugar, corn syrup, and ½ t salt; cook, stirring occasionally, until sugar dissolves.  Raise heat to high; bring to a boil without stirring.  Cook until mixture reaches 248 degrees on a candy thermometer, 2 to 4 minutes.  Remove from heat; stir in baking soda.

2.     Add caramel to popcorn, and stir to coat.  Transfer mixture to a rimmed baking sheet.

3.     Bake for 45 minutes, stirring twice.  Remove from oven, and immediately sprinkle with 1 t salt.  Let cool.  Break into clusters.

Makes 12 cups.

Source:  Martha Stewart Living magazine, July 2010.

Adaptations: 

1. I used microwave popcorn rather than popping kernels over the stove.  The store didn't carry any completely unflavored types, so I got the "light" version, which simply has less salt and oil.  

2. Rather than purchasing beer nuts or peanuts, I used the salted, shelled pistachios I had on hand.  They were so good in it!

3. Because of the salt already in the packaged popcorn, I did not add the 1 t of salt at the very end of the recipe.  Which is good, because the finished product was perfectly salty and sweet.  

Exciting Giftage!

My housemate is awesome for many reasons.  Tonight she was especially awesome, though, and gave me an early birthday present:

Yes, she made a customized apron for me on Zazzle.com!  No, I am not actually a chef, just a home cook and foodie, but I appreciate her approval of my abilities (today she decided I was her cooking guru).  And as for the "Shmerfty," well that's a word another friend of mine coined back in college.  It is a versatile word that can be used in place of a noun, adjective, or verb.  It's supercalafragilisticexpialodocious 2.0!  The question is, what does "shmerfty" mean in this context?  Here are some possibilities.

Laura: The Not-Really-a-Chef Chef!
Laura: The Overzealous Chef!
Laura: The Wannabe Chef!
Laura: The Tries-Anything-Once Chef!

Hmmm...

Friendsgiving

Friendsgiving is one day of the year when a group of friends gets together to celebrate each other...in case you were wondering.  At least, that's how I think my two friends C & L would define it!  This past Saturday they hosted Friendsgiving at their house, which, happily, included singing around the bonfire and loads of food.  You see, C, L, and company are the sort of people who think all good gatherings begin with potluck food and music.  C, marvel that she is, made her famous cream biscuits (from the Smitten Kitchen recipe), roasted a chicken, made vegan red velvet cupcakes, and mulled hot apple cider.  Others brought kale stuffing balls (tastes more delicious than it sounds), mashed potatoes, and vegan cherry brownies.  I wish I had taken a picture of the plates and platters of food that overflowed from their table!

I took the opportunity to try out a couple of seasonal recipes from my long list of candidates.  The first, a butternut squash pudding, was a savory, buttery 9x13" pan of deliciousness.  The butternut squash part was almost arbitrary when pureed and baked with copious amounts of eggs, butter, and milk.  It reminded me quite a bit of the corn pudding that I make around this time of year, too.  I wonder if the vegetable/starch ingredient mightn't be interchangeable.  Turnip pudding?  Sweet potato pudding? Heads up, though: No matter what you put in it, you'll use pretty much every bowl and saucepan that you own and your housemate will have to be bribed with pudding so as to avoid any confrontation over the sad state of your kitchen.

Butternut Squash Pudding

for the squash:

1 large butternut squash (3 1/2 lb), halved and seeded

EVOO

salt and pepper

for the béchamel:

1 qt whole milk

4 oz (1 stick) unsalted butter

1 c all-purpose flour

salt and pepper

for the pudding:

4 oz (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for dish

fine plain breadcrumbs, for dish

4 large eggs

4 large egg yolks

1/2 c finely grated Parmesan cheese (2 oz)

pinch of ground nutmeg

salt and pepper

1.  Make the squash:  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Coat squash with oil, and season with salt and pepper.  Transfer to a baking sheet, cut sides down, and cover with parchment-lined foil.  Roast until tender when pierced with a sharp knife, about 50 minutes.  Let cool.

2.  Scoop flesh from squash using a large spoon; discard skin.  Puree flesh in a food processor until smooth.  Season with salt and pepper.

3.  Make the béchamel:  Heat milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until bubbles form around the edge.  Melt butter in a large saucepan over low heat.  Add flour, and cook, whisking constantly, until flour is incorporated.  Continue to cook until golden, with a nutty scent, about 3 minutes more.  Whisk in milk in a slow, steady stream.  Cook, whisking, until mixture is thick, about 10 minutes.  Season with salt and pepper.  Refrigerate until chilled, at least 1 hour or overnight.  Whisk béchamel until smooth before using.

4.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Make the pudding:  Butter a 9x13" baking dish, and coat with breadcrumbs.  Beat 3 c pureed squash, the melted butter, eggs, yolks, Parmesan, and nutmeg with mixer on medium speed until smooth.  Fold in béchamel.  Season with salt and pepper.

5.  Pour mixture into prepared baking dish.  Cover with parchment-lined foil, and place in a larger baking dish.  Fill with enough warm water to come halfway up sides of smaller dish.  Bake until center is firm, about 40 minutes.  Remove foil, and bake until top browns, about 35 minutes more.  Let stand for 30 minutes before serving.

Serves 8 to 10.

Source:  Martha Stewart Living magazine, December 2009.

Because I like to live large, I also made a sweet dish for Friendsgiving, Apple Quick Bread with Oatmeal-Walnut Crumble and Caramel Sauce.  It's a mouthful, name and all.  I ended up adapting this Martha Stewart recipe because I (inconceivably) ran out of all-purpose flour part way through, and had to use half whole wheat flour instead.  I like to think that this made the bread healthy...if only you can forget all the butter and oil in there, too.  In any case, it came out well, dense and slightly nutty from the whole wheat flour addition.  I thought it suited the sweetness of apples and cider.  The only other change I made was to sub the Calvados (apple brandy) with additional cider.  I like to go traditional, but it gets expensive--and cluttered--to purchase bottles of specialty liqueurs that I'll only use once in a recipe, and then let collect dust for years.  Here's the original recipe:

Apple Quick Bread with Oatmeal-Walnut Crumble and Caramel Sauce

unsalted butter, for pan

2 c all-purpose flour, plus more for pan

2 t baking powder

1 t ground cinnamon

1/2 t salt

1/2 c vegetable oil

1/2 c packed dark-brown sugar

2 large eggs

1/2 to 3/4 c fresh cider

1/4 c apple brandy, preferably Calvados (optional)

1/2 t pure vanilla extract

2 small apples, preferably MacIntosh, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/2" cubes (2 c)

Oatmeal-Walnut Crumble (see recipe below)

Caramel Sauce (see recipe below)

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Butter and flour a 5x9" loaf pan.  Whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt.  Mix together oil and sugar with a mixer on medium speed until combined.  With machine running, add eggs, 1 at a time.  Reduce speed to low, and beat in flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with 1/2 c cider and the brandy (if not using brandy, use an additional 1/4 c cider), beginning and ending with flour.  Add vanilla, and fold in apples.  Pour mixture into pan, and top with oatmeal-walnut crumble.

2.  Place pan on a rimmed baking sheet, and bake until a tester inserted into center comes out clean, 45 to 55 minutes.  Transfer pan to a wire rack, and let cool for 15 minutes.  Invert pan to remove bread.  Let cool completely on a wire rack, crumble side up.  (Bread can be stored, wrapped, at room temperature overnight or refrigerated for up to 5 days.)  Drizzle with caramel sauce just before serving.

Oatmeal-Walnut Crumble

1/2 c all-purpose flour

1/2 c packed dark-brown sugar

1 1/2 oz walnuts, broken into pieces (1/2 c)

1/4 c old-fashioned oats

1/4 t salt

2 1/2 oz (5 T) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

Combine flour, sugar, walnuts, oats, and salt in the bowl of a mixer.  Add butter, and beat on medium speed until mixture forms small clumps.  Crumble can be refrigerated for up to 2 days.

Caramel Sauce

1/2 c packed dark-brown sugar

1/4 c heavy cream

1 1/2 oz (3 T) unsalted butter

1 t vanilla extract

1/2 t salt

Bring all ingredients to a simmer in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, and cook for 5 minutes.  Let cool slightly.  Sauce can be refrigerated for up to 5 days; reheat over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, before using.

Makes 2/3 cup.

Makes 1 5x9" loaf.

Source:  Martha Stewart Living magazine, November 2009.

Apple Picking!

Apple-picking time came early this year for those who like macs.  Last week Beth and I ventured out to a nearby pick-your-own farm so that I could gather a half bushel for various baking and saucing purposes.

The six rows of trees were absolutely bursting with apples and there were tons on the ground, to the point where we had to watch our step or risk turning an ankle.  The fruit still on the trees were large and clustered together like big bunches of grapes.  Behold, the glorious apple:

It was a good day for being outside, sunny and just barely cool.

I'm a little overwhelmed by the quantity of apples in my house!  A half bushel is bigger than it seems.  I've already used three in two loaves of apple bread and gave eight or ten away to my father so that my step-mother can make a batch of applesauce.  I will eventually make pies.  It seems like every day is so full (mostly with cooking) that pie-making is getting pushed back.

Thanks again to Beth for the great photos!

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state than to be hopelessly in love with spring."  -- George Santayana

A Facebook friend posted this quote recently, and it resonated with me.  It pretty much sums up how I feel about the changing of the seasons, and explains why I would probably never be happy living anywhere without them.  I really don't think we appreciate anything fully unless we experience something else for a while instead.  Hence, the oppressive heat of summer makes crisp fall weather seem inviting, and the long, cold winter makes spring's budding flora seem all the more exciting.

For My Friend Beth...

Beth had a birthday a few days ago, and I surprised her with chocolate cupcakes when we all met up for sushi to celebrate.  I suppose my definition of "holiday" is expanding, but it feels good to include all the ways in which my friends and I care for each other on days that matter to us.  I, for one, love an excuse to celebrate AND to bake!  Here's what I made, photos courtesy of the Birthday Girl herself:

That would be a chocolate heart-shaped cupcake with pink buttercream frosting and pink sanding sugar sprinkled on top.  Behind that is the fried green tea ice cream sundae the sushi place gave her.  Afterwards she went to claim her free birthday sundae from the local ice cream shop.  Talk about a sweet evening!

These mini-cupcakes were passed out to the rest of the table, including to the gentleman across the room who also happened to be celebrating his birthday.  The buttercream had, by that point, softened into goop, but it sure was tasty goop.

Both the cupcake and frosting recipes came from marthastewart.com.  They were both quite good--the only thing I did differently was to add about 1/3 cup of additional flour to the cupcake batter because it seems very thin.  For all I know, they would have come out just fine anyway.  And, of course, a drop or two of red and blue food coloring in the frosting.  White buttercream just seemed too mundane for the colorful Beth.

In Which I Deluge You With Old, Embarrassing Photos of Myself...

...ostensibly to demonstrate how badly I need help with this year's Halloween costume.

This is me dressed as a pirate, using a cheap Old Navy costume.  I think the mustache is what really pulls it all together.

Here I am modeling a devil hood thingie that we carried at the department store I worked at several years ago.  This is the sort of costume that makes me sad because it's not really a costume at all.  It's a stupid red hoods with horns.  That's it.  I may as well have gone around wearing a "This is my costume" t-shirt.

This picture was part of a photo shoot my childhood best friend and I did when I was going through the beginning of my goth phase.  As you can tell by the poorly-applied pancake makeup, chains, and self-drawn "Supergirl" graffiti, I was a very conflicted teenager.  I suppose I am still conflicted, in that I have so many disparate characteristics fighting it out inside of me.  For example, yesterday I was baking birthday cupcakes, feeling perky and wearing my strawberry-covered vintage apron.  Then I happened to glance in my full length mirror and took a good look at myself.  I had on black tights, a black skirt, a black top, the strawberry apron, a pink polka-dotted scarf tied in a bow around my neck, and, to top it all off, my hair in pigtails.  Basically, I looked like the love child of Strawberry Shortcake and a goth Pippi Longstocking.

Writing this just reminds me how little I've changed.

Today I asked my friend B if she had read my last post about possible Halloween costumes.  She hadn't, but she immediately suggested Pippi Longstocking.  Can she call it or what?  I'm still open to suggestions, though.  I'm a terrible decision maker.

Signage Fail (or is it a Win?)

As seen at the Huffington Post.

Halloween Costume Ideas

I'm always so delinquent at getting together Halloween costumes.  I always have tons of ideas but some combination of not enough money, not enough time, or not enough energy.  My hope is that having two out of three will be good enough this year!  So I've been keeping a mental list of costume ideas for several months.  This is a dangerous thing to do because my memory is quite poor.  Here's hoping that I'm not forgetting anything:

Mary Poppins - A good choice, obviously.  The hair would be easy-peasy, but the costume would take more than a few spoonfuls of sugar to do well!  The huge plus of this costume idea is that I can pull off a pretty good Julie Andrews musical number AND I'd get to use a fake British accent.

Naughty Secretary - Perhaps overplayed, and might go over the heads of some, given that a true naughty secretary isn't very suggestively dressed.  I pretty much have the individual pieces of this costume already; I only need to buy a couple of hair clips.

Skunk - As in the skunk girls from the movie Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains.  The costume part would be easy.  I probably already have the different pieces.  The hair would be a serious commitment...and might be a good excuse to go black again, with a big white "skunk" stripe.  But I refuse to give myself a mullet!  A faux-hawk pompadour should do the trick.  Again, this costume is likely to go over the heads of pretty much everyone I encounter on Halloween.  Is it worth the trouble then?  The skunk link takes you to an awesome feminist critique of the film, and further down the page there are other exciting blog entries, most notably of Lora Logic and X-Ray Spex!

Pippi Longstocking  - If I can convince gravity to let me braid my hair in two plaits and have them stick straight out on either side of my head, I'm good.  I already have stripey knee socks and boots.  The simple shift could probably be pieced together from a couple different thrift store sheets or t-shirts.  All I know is that it'd be fun to let my inner Little Princess out!

Julia Child - Yay for another British accent opportunity!  This is another costume wherein I already have what I need, minus a rubber chicken, perhaps.  I would definitely need to walk around carrying a chicken or a rolling pin.  The only problem here is the hair.  I have a big head and lots of hair, so I'm afraid that even a decent wig would look ridiculous on me.  Plus wigs are super expensive.

Now here's the real problem with most of these: Whatever I dress up as, I have to be a FAT version of the person.  It's frustrating having almost no recognizable plus-sized celebrities or film characters who are shaped like me.  I don't like feeling as though I'm an inauthentic version of the real thing just because of my size.  I love Halloween, but I hate being reminded of the lack of visibility for fat folks every year!  I mean really...how many times can a fat gal go out trick-or-treating as Tracy Turnblad?

I am so open to suggestions here.  I'm a terrible decision-maker, especially when I have some really good--albeit skinny--options!

Maybe I should just take a lesson from the sweetest, most adorable dog in the whole wide world, Lovey, and dress up as a cute crustacean:

They've gotta have that in my size, right?